So, I was thinking that it would be nice to have someone who knew what they were doing to arrange my life so that I was always dressed smashingly with a nod to weather and activities of the day. You know, like a personal stylist. Since I haven't got the cash to lay on a prime stylist, I decided to interview and subsequently style myself. Here's the interview:
Angelique Pfeffenseirer (AP, prime stylist with a french/british accent who always wears black, white and a splash of gold): So glad that we're here today, can't wait to get a look in the closet. Writers always have such exciting wardrobes.
Me. (ME, in sweatpants and a pale blue cashmere sweater with a dot of spaghetti sauce on the hem) er, thanks.
AP: When you think of people, fashion icons, what sort of people come to mind? (She crosses long elegant legs hosed in black with subtle dots)
ME: (long silence while I think that I shouldn't say Daisy from "Keeping up Appearances" Or Rose for that matter.) Nancy Drew?
AP: (long silence) Isn't that a fictional character from a book?
ME: Mhmm. She drove a roadster.
AP: Ah, a fashion forward independent woman who was fashionable as well as capable. I like it!
ME: Sighing in relief.
AP: So, do you have any other influences besides Nancy Drew that you'd like to bring up?
AP: What is your favorite season?
ME: Summer but I like to wear fall stuff. My hair is red. (I point to my head as though she can't see it by herself. She pushes her chic and intelligence enhancing glasses on her nose and nods thoughtfully)
AP: Your neutrals should be dark brown, medium brown, and cream. The colors that suit you best will be blush, teal blues and greens with a splash of orange and eggplant. And gold. What do you like to wear in the winter?
ME: (looking down at my sad sweater and pants) I like to be cozy. I'm a writer, they drink tea and wear sweaters.
AP: There are ways to be cozy and stylish at the same time. I will fill you in after I've jetted to Italy to touch up my shoe collection. Be back next week. (she stands, elegantly, then evaporates, also elegantly. I amazed and cannot wait to see what she comes up with for cozy and comfortable. As a polyvore! I'm definitely staying tuned.